"Aren’t you all singing at the baseball game today or something like that?" Arti asked me from where she was standing in the bathroom combing through her hair while I changed my shirt.

"Yeah, something like that," I replied before I pulled on the dark navy blue pinstripe suit-jacket that went with baby blue long sleeved shirt that I changed into.

"I guess I’m stuck finding something to do while you’re at your ‘appearance’ then."

I could hear the disappointment in her voice though she tried to hide it.

"I’m sorry baby. Do you want me to call Liz and Meg to see what they’re doing while we’re gone?" I asked.

I heard her set the brush down on the counter. She walked out of the bathroom and came over to where I was sitting on the bed. I sat there putting my shoes on while she sat there and watched.

"No...that’s ok," she replied in a small voice. "I’ll call them myself."

"What’s wrong?"

"Nothing. I just can’t wait for this day to end so we can finally have some time to ourselves," she answered with a small sigh. "With the whole accident thing and everything else, I haven’t seen you a whole lot these last couple of weeks."

I stopped what I was doing and looked up at her solemn face. She was dead serious.

"I mean, you’ve been spending a lot of time with Liz and all..."

"What? What’s that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing. Nevermind."

"No! Tell me!" I said sternly, but without anger.

"Well, don’t get me wrong...I love Liz like a sister! She’s the most important person in my life here in the states...next to you of course. It’s just that..."

She hesitated a little before she continued. I watched her play with the comforter on the bed as she spoke.

"...you and Liz have been spending a lot of time together. I want us to be spending that time together."

She slowly looked up at me with a slight wince as if she were waiting for my reaction.

"I’m so sorry Arti!" I said as I reached out and pulled her into my arms for a much-needed hug. "I promise that when we get finished with all of this stuff today, we’ll spend some quality time together ok?"

She pulled back a little and nodded. She leaned in and gave me a kiss before she pulled away again and stood up. She took one look at her watch.

"You better hurry. You were supposed to meet them in the lounge 10 minutes ago," she said when she saw what time it was.

I hurriedly finished tying my shoes and flung myself at the door.

"Wait!"

I turned my head to see her walking towards me with my tie in hand. She handed it to me, gave me a peck on the lips, and then watched me walk out the door. The other guys were already waiting in the small lounge at the end of our hallway along with Denise and a few of the bodyguards.

"’Bout time Train," Rok teased as I walked in still putting my tie on. "We were starting to wonder."

"Get your mind out of the gutter Brian Thomas Littrell," I told him in a stern voice.

"Yes sir," he replied in his original thick Southern accent that he had grown up with, but had since fell away from. "Whatever you say sir."

He stood up and saluted me which got a laugh or two from everyone else in the small area. Before we could really say anything else, Denise shooed us towards the elevators and out to the vans. There weren’t too many fans, but we had to take the bodyguards as precaution. We always had to take guards as precautions.

~~~~~~~~~~» Meg «~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~» A Couple Hours Later «~~~~~~~~~~

"Mae-mee-maw-moe-moo," Liz and I sang as we walked down a few of the corridors of Veteran’s Stadium.

After we’d sung a few more scales, we started talking as we wandered around. Arti was with us. She stayed quiet while we were warming up, but joined in on our conversation as soon as we started talking.

"So...have either of you been to a baseball game before?" I asked.

They both said no. I laughed a little.

"I just have to meet Scott Rolen! He is a major cutie!"

They both looked at me with funny faces.

"Yes, Howie knows..."

They both burst out laughing at how silly our conversation was.

"That’s ok. I like idolize all the Jazz players (AN ~ Utah Jazz basketball team/players) ...not like think they’re cute or anything, just totally idolize them," Liz added to make me feel a little more comfortable.

"And I think that this group ‘Off Limits’ from Canada are hotties," Arti confessed.

Her face turned about ten shades of red. We laughed and shared other little unknown secrets like that with each other until we ran out of things to say. When we finally found our way to the hallway with our dressing rooms, we sat outside the rooms and waited for the guys to come. Liz suddenly stood up straight and started doing funky Britney Spears imitation dance moves.

"My loneliness is killing me and I must confess...I still believe. When I’m not with you I lose my mind," she sang.

Arti and I laughed at her little performance. Gradually, we could hear a group of people singing a song coming from somewhere else in the maze of hallways. I joined in when I realized what song it was. Liz joined in too.

"Who let ‘da dogs out? Who who who who who let da dogs out? Who let ‘da dogs out? Who who who who who let ‘da dogs out? A doggy is nuttin’ if he don’t have a bone. All doggy hold your bone. All doggy hold it. A doggy is nuttin’ if he don’t have a bone. All doggy hold your bone. All doggy hold it."

I couldn’t help but giggle when AJ and the rest of the guys (with a few others in tow) came around the corner. AJ started rapping the rap part of the song as he walked towards us. We continued singing the chorus as he rapped away, throwing in random stuff here and there, including the whole rap part from ‘We’ve Got It Goin’ On’, even if it was an entirely different song. Nick was doing vocal percussion while Kev was layin’ down the bass. Brian and Howie were singing harmony with us. We sounded awesome!

"SORRY TO INTERRUPT THIS PARTY, BUT THE TEAM’S READY TO MEET YOU ALL NOW!" Denise screamed over us all.

That caused us all to shut up quickly, including AJ, who was still rapping about the color of the sky or something off the wall like that. I ran up to Howie, gave him a hug, and followed him and the others in the direction they were leading us. We finally got to the dugout and I almost fainted when we walked out and all of the players were there including my three favorites, Scott Rolen, Matt Leiberthal, and Pat Burrell. I smiled along with everyone else while we were introduced.

"So you all are going to be singing the National Anthem?" one of the players asked.

"Yes, the seven of us are," Kev answered, meaning the five guys, Liz and I.

Everyone else chit-chatted as they all started walking out the door again for a brief tour of the stadium...something I’d done a few times before. I was checking out all the bats and things when I noticed that I wasn’t the only one in the dugout. I turned my head a little and saw Scott with his foot up on the bench tying his shoe.

"Ya know, I’ve heard your music," he said after a few minutes.

"Oh really?"

"Yeah. And I have to say that I like it a lot. I’m not into the whole pop scene, but I like your music," he replied. "I’ve been wanting to meet you for a while now."

I smiled. I’d wanted to meet him too...ever since he’d signed with the Phillies.

"You’re pretty good looking too," he added as he moved a few feet closer.

I blushed a little, but became uncomfortable with how close he was to me. I backed up, but he just moved closer with each step I took. When I ran into the end of the dugout, he kept coming closer until he was in front of me so we were standing face to face.

"Ummm..."

He cut me off with a short kiss. I was shocked, to say the least. I instantly pushed him away, got out of the dugout, and continued running down the halls until I ran into Liz and Arti talking to Denise. I felt tears running down my cheeks as I rushed up to them and let Liz wrap her arms around my shoulders.

"I’ll see you gals in a little bit," she said before she led me into an empty room.

I spilled everything to her...including the forbidden kiss. I knew that she knew what I felt like, considering the whole ‘Nick’ situation that she had been a part of.

"You mean, he has no clue that you’re with Howie?" she asked.

I shook my head. "I don’t think so."

"I guess he’s not as smart as I thought he was," she joked.

She smiled when I let out a little laugh at her silly comment. I was startled when there was a loud knock on the door.

"You’re both on in 10 minutes," the voice said.

"Look...don’t let this effect your performance one bit. You can talk to Curly about later," Liz said.

She wiped my tears dry, gave me a quick hug, and helped me up from the desk that I was sitting on. When she put her hand on my shoulder, I could feel her hand shaking.

"You’re not nervous are you?" I asked as we walked towards the door.

"Actually, don’t tell anyone, but yeah, I am. I mean, this is the first performance since, you know...the accident," she replied with uncertainty.

"You’ll be fine girlie. You’re a natural born performer."

"Thanks sis," she said as she opened the door and led me into the hallway.

Denise rushed us both towards where the others were waiting for us, ready to go.

"Crap! We haven’t warmed up enough Meggers," Liz said as the tech crew hooked us up in our microphone stuff.

We did a few scales with our backs facing the others, in case they were giving us weird faces during our warm-ups, which they often liked to do.

"You’re on!"

We all calmly walked out to the home plate where they had a carpet laid out that we were to stand on while they saluted the flag and all the other jazz. I had a hard time holding back tears, but halfway through the song, I felt better. Once we were back in the comfort of the vans when we were done at the Stadium, Liz looked at me with encouraging eyes and I decided to tell Howie once we got back to the hotel. We’d have an easier time with it in the solitude of our own room.

~~~~~~~~~~» Brian «~~~~~~~~~~

"Yo dude...me’n’the other fellas are goin’ to this club that we heard about. You and Meg comin’?" I asked into the phone.

"I don’t know Brian. I’ll talk to Megan and ask her if she’d like to join you," Howie answered before he said goodbye and quickly hung up the phone.

I put the receiver in the cradle and turned to Nick.

"Something’s up with Howie."

He gave me a weird look.

"You know how he gets when there’s something up...talkin’ all weird and stiff like. That’s how he was over the phone."

"Oh well. His loss if they don’t wanna have a good time," Nick responded as he tied up his shoe and started on the other.

"Dude...is that what you’re wearing tonight?"

He looked at his wrinkled t-shirt and worn jeans before he shrugged.

"Yeah. What’s wrong with this?"

"Uh...nothin’s wrong...IF YOU WERE GOING TO A SPORT’S BAR," I teased him and then dodged the pillow he threw at me.

~~~~~~~~~~» Arti «~~~~~~~~~~

"No thanks Rok," Kev said into the phone while I lay back onto my bed and stared at the ceiling. "We’re stayin’ in tonight."

I smiled, happy that we’d be alone for the night. It was exactly what both of us wanted, and knew we needed as well.

"No...I don’t think Liz and Meg will mind. It’s not like they HAVE to go everywhere together," Kev told Bri. "Just make sure you take at least 2 of the guards."

I put my hands behind my head and closed my eyes.

"Yeah, yeah...have fun dude. Bye."

I heard the phone being gently set in it’s cradle and then nothing. The room was silent. I was going to open my eyes and sit up to see where Kev had gone, but I was met with a soft kiss on my forehead instead. I smiled and opened my eyes to see Kev sitting on my bed next to me.

"Wanna find a movie on TV? We can cuddle up and stay warm..."

He laughed a little at the silly smile that I was giving him. "Tell ya what...you pick the movie and I’ll order up some sweets to eat."

"Don’t forget the popcorn," I said while I sat up and reached for the remote.

Before long, we were engrossed in a romantic ‘chic-flick’ movie with plenty of candy and popcorn to keep us from getting hungry.

~~~~~~~~~~» AJ «~~~~~~~~~~

"You look amazing tonight," I whispered in Liz’s ear as we walked into the club that Bri had found for us to go to.

"You don’t look so bad yourself," she replied with a sly smile.

Our outfits matched. She was wearing a black leather baby tee-type shirt with sparkly-metallic pants while I was wearing a pair of black leather pants (AN - think SMTMOBL vid) with a white wife-beater tank top and a leather jacket. We both followed Meg while holding hands and walking close to each other so we wouldn’t get lost in the sea of dancing people. Apparently, Meg had come to this place before, so she knew where she was going. It was called the Egypt Nightclub. We passed two different dance rooms on our way through the crowds, one a disco room and another a beach room. She had told us on the way over that the club owner had reserved the other dance room, The Tunnel, exclusively for our guests, if we had any, and us. She said it wasn’t a particularly big room, but we could go to the other dance floors if we wanted. Nick and Bri were following behind us, with Howie following behind them. Some girls made a big deal when they saw us walk by while others tried flirting with us, even if we were merely passing through. By the time we got to The Tunnel, we realized that Howie had gotten lost somewhere in the crowd.

"He’ll be ok," Liz said with a laugh. "Meg’ll go find him in a couple of hours."

I was the only one besides Liz who saw the small glare that Meg gave Liz because it was gone as quickly as it had come.

"What was that about?" I asked Liz after I pulled her into my arms to dance to ‘Incomplete’ by Sisqo.

She wrapped her arms around my waist under my jacket and laid her head on my shoulder. "You’ll find out when the time is right," was all she said in reply.

I didn’t bring that topic up again. There was one thing that I learned growing up with only women in the house...never ask after you’ve been told not to. If she wanted to tell me, she would’ve, but obviously, it wasn’t anything that I needed to know. The subject was dropped from our conversation for the time being.

"I love this song," Liz said when familiar music started playing. "You all sound like angels."

She smiled and tightened her arms around my waist as the music continued playing. I began singing in her ear along with the music.

"What ever happened? I know that I was wrong. Can you believe me? Maybe your faith is gone. But I love you and I always will. So I wonder if you want me still. Can you forgive me and open your heart once again. It’s true. I mean it from the bottom of my heart. Yeah, it’s true. With out you I would fall apart."

After the song was over, I pulled back and saw the tears in her eyes. She gave me a smile and a small kiss on the lips before she laid her head back down on my shoulder. I rubbed my hands up and down her back as the music changed to one that was more upbeat.

"I never really realized how much I almost lost until I heard your voice singing to me just now."

I could barely hear her voice over the music as she whispered in my ear, but I knew exactly what she had said.

"I love you," I whispered back.

"I love you more."

~~~~~~~~~~» A While Later «~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~» Meg «~~~~~~~~~~

"Down down baby your street in a Range Rover. Boom boom baby...ready to let it go," Liz sang as she danced to the song. "Shimmy Shimmy coco-what? Listen to me now..."

"Since when does she like this kind of music?" Nick asked as he stood next to Bri and I while we watched Liz dance with the guards and who ever else was in the small room a few feet away.

"You’d be surprised," I replied with a smile. "There’s a lot of things about her that you guys don’t know."

"Obviously," Nick replied with a roll of the eyes before he turned around to find AJ and see what he was doing. "Women..." he mumbled as he walked away, shaking his head slightly.

"Meg!"

I turned around to see if anyone was calling my name, but didn’t see anyone. The music was so loud, I wasn’t sure if anyone had called for me anyway. I turned back to continue watching Liz having fun.

"MEG!"

Brian gently nudged me in the side and pointed towards the door once he had my attention. "Someone’s looking for you."

"Thanks Bri," I told him before I started walking over towards the door.

Howie met me halfway with Scott and a few of the other Phillie’s players in tow. "Look who I found!"

I smiled nervously as the guys all walked into the room and waved at me before they went to mingle with everyone else. Scott patted Howie on the shoulder a few times as he walked by.

"We owe ya one bud," he said as he walked away towards the growing dancing crowd in our reserved room.

"No problem," Howie called back to him. "Having fun?"

"Actually, I was just going to come find you," I replied. "I thought you’d been swallowed whole by the paparazzi out there."

He laughed a little before he took hold of my hand and led me over towards the group. "Nope...as you can see, I’m fine."

"I know you are."

He laughed again.

"So you aren’t like mad at Scott or anything anymore or what?"

"He apologized for what happened earlier today...I couldn’t be mad at him still if he apologized...that’s just not me."

"I know it’s not," I replied with a smile. A slow song came on. "May I have this dance?"

"Anything for mi’lady."

He wrapped his arms around me as the music played. I stole a glance over his shoulder and saw Liz dancing with AJ, as always. Nick was dancing with a pretty brunette girl that he had met on one of the other dance floors. Bri was dancing with a younger looking girl that he obviously wouldn’t be interested in romantically, just a nice southern gentleman’s gesture towards a younger fan.

This Romeo is bleeding but you can’t see his blood
It’s nothin’ but some feelings that this old dog kicked up
It’s been raining since you left me, now I’m drownin’ in the flood.
You see I’ve always been a fighter, but without you I give up.
Now I can’t sing a love song like the way it’s meant to be
Well I guess I’m not that good anymore, but baby that’s just me.

And I will love you baby
Always
And I’ll be there forever and a dream
Always
I’ll be there ‘til the stars don’t shine
‘Til the heaven’s burst and the words don’t rhyme.
Oh and when I die, you’ll be on my mind
And I’ll love you always.

Now your pictures that you left behind are just memories of a different life
Some that made us laugh some that made us cry
One that made you have to say good bye
What I’ve give to run my fingers through your hair
Touch your lips, to hold you near
When you say your prayers, try to understand I’ve made mistakes, I’m just a man
When he holds you close, when he pulls you near
When he says the words that you’ve needin’ to hear
I wish I was him with those words of mine to say to you ‘til the end of time

And I will love you baby
Always
And I’ll be there forever and a dream
Always

If you told me to cry for you, I could
If you told me to die for you, I would

Take a look at my face, there’s no price I won’t pay
To say these words to you

Well there ain’t no luck in these loaded dice
But baby if ya give me just one more try
We could pack up our old dreams and our old lives
We’ll find a place where the sun still shines

And I will love you baby
Always
And I’ll be there forever and a dream
Always
I’ll be there ‘til the stars don’t shine
‘Til the heaven’s burst and the words don’t rhyme.
Oh and when I die, you’ll be on my mind
And I’ll love you always.
Always

(‘Always’ sung by Bon Jovi)

© Liz Holder 2000