~~~~~~~~~~» A Few Days Later «~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~» Liz «~~~~~~~~~~

"I’m going to go take a nice relaxing bath before I have to go to the auditions for my new dancers and back-up vocals," I told AJ as I got up from the couch where we were watching some show on TV.

He reached over to the table at the end of the couch and picked up the remote to turn the TV off. After he set it back on the table, he stood up and followed me over to the stairs.

"I’ve got a few things that I need to take care of at the studio for a little while. Are you going to be ok here by yourself?" he asked as he fished in the closet for a jacket to wear.

"I’ll be fine," I answered with a laugh as I brought a hand up to the side of my head as I felt a major headache coming. "As long as I have my pills, I’ll be fine."

The doctor had given me a prescription of pain medication to help with the headaches and pain while I was still recovering.

"They’re in the medicine cabinet in your bathroom," AJ said before he gave me a kiss on the cheek.

"Thanks," I replied with a small smile.

I watched him walk to the door and open it.

"Bye," he said with a small wave. "Call me if you need anything."

"I will. Bye," I said as I waved back.

Once he was out the door, I turned and finished walking up the stairs to the room that I was staying in. I picked out some clothes, a clean towel, a CD to listen to, and a few smelly candles before I went into the bathroom for my period of relaxation alone. Once I had Brian McKnight playing in the stereo and the scented candles sitting around the tub and lit, I turned the water on and added some ‘Secret Crush’ scented bath gel from Victoria’s Secret (AN ~ This stuff smells SOOO good! I have some of the lotion and I use it like everyday ‘cause it smells so dang GOOD! Hehe). As I slowly slipped into the warm water, my muscles started to relax. Once I was all the way in, I took in a deep breath of the aroma before I reached up and flipped the switch on the wall that turned on the jets in the large Jacuzzi tub. I leaned my head back on the edge of the tub where I’d put a small towel covered pillow as I felt the jet streams of water working miracles on my tense back muscles. I pulled my hair up into a bun before I got it, so it wasn’t in the way. I closed my eyes and listened to the music as I sat there basking in the hypnotic feel of the massaging jets. Once my skin started getting ‘pruny’ from sitting there for so long, I got out, let the water down after I turned the jets off, dried myself off, and got dressed. I left the candles lit while I pulled my hair into a neat bun at the top of my head and then started working on my make-up. I hummed as I went to work getting ready. It didn’t take me that long to do my make-up because I only put on some base, mascara, and lip gloss. I was only going to be a ‘spectator’ at the auditions that Fatima and Gerald (vocal coach from Rainbow Entertainment Inc. ~ my record label) were holding. I was actually allowed to have partial say in who got picked, so that’s why I was going. Meg was supposed to meet me there, just for fun on her part. She enjoyed watching other people perform for a change, both dancing and singing.

My head started pounding again, so I reached into the medicine cabinet and pulled out the bottle of pills. I unscrewed the lid and pulled one out (they were pretty strong so I was only allowed one at a time) before I set the open bottle and lid on the counter while I filled my cup with water from the tap. After I swallowed the pill, I noticed that I absentmindedly left the candles burning, so I blew them out. After I blew the last one out, I stood up and turned around. My left foot slipped in a small puddle of water on the floor, causing me to loose my footing. I tried to reach for the counter, but my fingertips only grazed the surface of it before I fell onto the floor. My hand had knocked into the bottle of pills, making it crash to the floor, spilling the white pills all over the black and white tiled floor. When my head hit the floor, I thought I heard the door shut downstairs through the music from the stereo before everything went black.

~~~~~~~~~~» AJ «~~~~~~~~~~

"Liz...I’m back," I called out as I shut the front door behind me.

No answer. She usually either came down to meet me in the sitting room, or she’d holler back to let me know where she was in the house. I could hear the soft music coming from somewhere upstairs, but it wasn’t loud enough for her not to hear me. I walked a few steps into the house and stopped at the bottom of the stairs.

"Liz..."

Again, there was no answer. I walked over to the kitchen and glanced in the doorway. She wasn’t there. After I quickly checked all the rooms on the main floor, I climbed the stairs and peeked in the doors as I passed each one towards the room where the music was coming from. I walked into the room she was staying in, but didn’t find her there either. The music, a song called ‘Cherish’ by Brian McKnight, was softly coming from the bathroom. I knew the song well, coming from listening to the CD so much when Liz was away.

"Liz," I called out again as I walked up to the closed door.

When there was no answer, I softly knocked on the door and waited as the song continued playing. After waiting for a few seconds, I reached out and slowly turned the door handle. I didn’t see her until I got the door all the way open. She was lying on the floor unconscious with pills scattered on the floor and the bottle lying next to her on the floor.

"NO! Liz...please no..." I yelled out as I ran to her side and lifted her limp body into my arms. "Why’d you do it? I love you...Please don’t leave me! You can’t leave me like this!"

I sat there on the floor and rocked back and forth as I held her in my arms. Tears came to my eyes as I realized that I shouldn’t have left the pills out where she could get them. I should’ve known that something like this would happen. She wasn’t unhappy, or at least she didn’t seem unhappy...what would her parents think of me when they find out that their daughter committed suicide while she was in my care. What would everyone think? I was about to set her back down on the floor so I could call 911 when she moaned a little. I looked down in time to see her open her eyes.

"Aje...what’s wrong?" she asked when she saw the tears running down my face as she sat up and I fell into her arms.

"Liz...I thought I lost you," I said, happy that she was at least awake.

"What’re you talking about?" she asked after I pulled away.

"Oh goll...how many pills did you take? I need to call the doctor...poison control...911," I rambled on as I stood up and headed towards the door. "You stay there...lie down..."

"Wait! What are you talking about?" she asked as she stood up and walked up to me.

I turned around to face her.

"What do you think I’m talking about?!" I asked in return. "You tried to commit suicide."

She stared at me with an emotionless glance with her mouth open like she was going to say something as she tried to understand what I just said.

"Help me here...did you just say that I tried to commit suicide?" she asked. "I took one pill...the candles were burning...I slipped, then hit my head on the floor, and passed out. *pause* I’m fine Aje. I did NOT try to commit suicide...I’d never do that."

I still didn’t believe her and she obviously sensed it. She walked over to me and reached out to give me a hug.

"I want you to listen to me...I did not try to kill myself..." she said as she pulled away and the let me go.

When I didn’t say anything, she walked around me, slipped on some slipper-shoes, and walked out of the room. I heard the front door close a few minutes later as a new song started playing. After I shut the music off, I walked out of the bathroom, out into the hallway, and into the room across the hallway from hers. I pulled the curtain back a little bit and watched her get into her car and start the engine. She rubbed the side of her face in frustration before she put the car into gear and pulled out of the driveway. ‘Dang’ I thought to myself at how I overreacted.

~~~~~~~~~~» Liz «~~~~~~~~~~

When I walked into the local high school building that was being used as the place for the auditions, I saw guys and girls buzzing around the lobby area of the auditorium, getting ready, warming up their voices if they were trying out for back-ups, and stretching if they were trying out for the dancer’s positions.

"Hi," I said to a bunch of girls that were doing some vocal warm-ups in the hallway with a smile.

They all said ‘Hi’ back as I continued making my way down the hallway, looking for the room that I was told to meet in. When I heard one of the girls in the small group talking enthusiastically, I turned my head back and saw the girls watching me and talking to each other. One of the girls was pointing at me, another had a questioning look on her face while another one was totally freaking out. I smiled again and gave them a nod and small wave before I walked around a corner and kept on going until I found the right room.

"Hey! There is the lady of the hour," Fatima joked when she saw me come in.

"Sorry I’m late...I had a little mishap at home," I said, careful not to give away too many details, knowing that most of them would react the same way AJ did.

"That’s totally understandable," she replied as she started walking over to me. "How’s the forehead?"

I lifted my hand and lightly ran my fingertips over the scar that was healing nicely.

"It’s getting better. The doctor’s been telling me that it shouldn’t leave a scar at all," I replied with a shrug as if it was no big deal.

"That’s good to hear," she said with a smile.

We both turned our heads towards the door when we heard it opening. Meg quickly walked in followed by one of her bodyguards (Jeremiah ~ AKA Miah or Remi) that she had with her all the time.

"Meg!" I said as I walked over to her and gave her a playful hug.

"Hi," she replied.

She didn’t look too happy, but I wasn’t going to ask about it until we were away from Remi, so it would be just her and me.

"Let’s go kids..." Gerald called out as he poked his head in the door to see if we were here yet. "We really need to get this started."

Meg, Remi, Fatima, and I followed Gerald into one of the side entrances of the auditorium and over to the middle section of the seats about halfway up where a small table was set up over one of the chairs with papers stacked on it. Gerald and Fatima picked up a few of the piles of papers as Meg and I walked down the row in back of where the table was setup. Remi sat in the same row as the table so he’d be sitting next to Fatima and Gerald.

"So, what’s up?" Meg asked in a hushed whisper after Fatima and Gerald left the room to brief all the people of were auditioning on what they’d need to do.

"Well, everything was fine today until AJ accused me of trying to commit suicide," I replied in the same hushed voice so Remi wouldn’t know what we were talking about.

"He what?"

"He thought that I was trying to kill myself Meg. You know me...I’d never do that, even if I was unhappy, which I’m not," I replied.

"What happened?"

"Well, he had to go to the studio with the other guys, as you know, to do something, so I took the opportunity to take a nice, long relaxing bath. After I got out ad got dressed, I took a pain pill because I was getting a headache. I forgot to blow out the candles, so I blew them out and when I was about to turn around, I slipped on some water that was on the floor," I started to explain. "I tried to reach out and grab the countertop, but I wasn’t close enough. My hand hit the open bottle of pills that I left on the counter and I knocked them all over the floor."

We both looked up when Fatima and Gerald walked in the door at the back of the auditorium and started heading to where we were.

"So anyway, I hit my head and passed out. AJ found me and when he saw the pills on the floor, he thought that I was trying to kill myself."

"Oh. Sounds like your day is about as good as mine," Meg said with a small sigh.

"Yeah, I’ve had better. It’s not everyday that your boyfriend thinks your trying to kill yourself," I said. "How’s your day been?"

She let out a mocking grunt/laugh before she started to explain her story.

"Nothing seems to be going right. We’ve been trying to work out some of the details of the wedding...man...we can’t agree on anything," she said as she gently shook her head in disgust. "I dunno...hopefully things will be better by the time we go to Philly to visit my parents."

"Oh yeah...when is that?" I asked.

"In a week. You’re coming right?" she asked, finally showing a little enthusiasm.

"Wouldn’t miss it for the world," I replied with a laugh as Fatima walked up to the table and sat down.

"Good! Maybe then we can have a real night on the town!" she exclaimed quietly as Gerald called the first person in line to audition onto the stage.

A man at the door ushered the first girl in. She walked up the stairs to the stage while Gerald and Fatima both got situated at the table, making neat piles of the papers so they’d be a little organized about the whole process.

"Please tell us your name, age, part, and the name of the song you’ll be singing," Gerald spoke in a very authoritative, yet gentle voice that rang out through the whole room.

After the girl introduced herself, she sang and then Gerald talked with her momentarily before she was ushered out and the next girl came in. This went on for the next 8 or 9 girls before a girl with shoulder length layered copper colored hair. She walked up the stairs with such poise and grace that I was instantly impressed with this girl even before she spoke a word.

"Name, age, part, and the name of your song," Gerald said almost mechanically.

The girl stood up straight and tall before she spoke.

"My name is Chrystal. I’m 18," she said with a smile. "I’m an alto and I’ll be singing ‘Swear It Again’ by WestLife."

I watched Gerald as he picked up the audition sheet that the girl had filled out. He studied it as she began singing the song with a man on the piano accompanying her. Once she was done singing, Gerald decided to ask her a few questions.

"What kind of musical experience do you have?" he asked. "Have you taken voice lessons?"

"Besides being in plays and musicals, I really have no musical experience," she replied timidly. "I know how to read notes and music, but that’s about it. I’ve never taken a voice lesson in my life."

He seemed to be satisfied with her answers, so he turned to me.

"Have any questions you’d like to ask her?" he asked in a whisper.

"Actually, yes, I do," I replied as I slowly stood up and walked out of the row that I was sitting in to the aisle.

Everyone, including Chrystal, watched me walk up onto the stage and kindly ask the man at the piano to let me have a seat there. I sat down, waved Chrystal over to me, and explained what I wanted her to do. She stood there beside me with a look of slight shock and surprise on her face.

"I’m going to play a sequence of notes and I want you to sing them back to me as well as you can remember them ok?" I asked.

She nodded. I played out a simple 1-3-5-4-2-5-1 sequence (AN - if you know anything about music, you’ll know what that is...LOL). She listened intently and then sang it back to me without flaw. I had to say I was impressed, with her not having any experience in music. I’d been studying music for who knows how many years, and even taken private voice lessons, but this girl was good...probably much better than she realized.

"Now, can you sing a song for me...an easy one...say, ‘Amazing Grace’?" I asked.

"Yeah, I can do that," she replied as I started to play an introduction for her.

She looked up in surprise when I started singing with her. She sang the melody while I sang a harmony part that was a third higher than the soprano line.

"Not too shabby," I said with a little laugh when we were finished. "Thanks Chrystal."

I gave her a smile before I stood up, walked back to my seat next to Meg, and sat down.

"I think I found one of my new back-up singers," I whispered to Meg with a smile.

"Yeah, she’s pretty good...and she’s nice," Meg replied.

"Next..." Gerald called out.

The auditions for vocals droned on and on and when Gerald was finished, we took a break and went for some lunch. The dancer’s auditions would be after we got back.

"Ready to get this show on the road?" Fatima asked as we walked back into the nice air-conditioned building from lunch.

"As ready as I’ll ever be," I replied with a laugh.

Instead of going back into the auditorium, we headed to the dance room of the school that had polished wooden floors and mirrors and a bar along one wall. A bunch of dancers were in the large room when we entered, and they immediately stood up or stopped doing whatever they were doing when they saw us come in. Fatima handed me a clipboard before I sat down next to Meg along the mirrored wall by the stereo. After Fatima introduced herself, they all got to work. She taught them a short dance that they would be performing in groups of four for us to ‘judge’ them on as well as their individual dance routines.

"’Tima!!!! What’s up G?" I heard someone exclaim from the back of the room full of people when the door opened and someone came in.

Once I saw who it was, I stood up and went to say hi.

"Gills!!! What’re you doing here?!" I asked as I gave her a huge hug.

"Well, I saw the ad in the paper for dancers and since the Backstreet tour isn’t going on right now, I figured I’d come and try out for the heck of it," she replied with a laugh. "I didn’t know that this was your audition I swear."

"Oh my gosh Gills! It’s been so long since I’ve seen you!" I exclaimed as I pulled her to the front of the room while Fatima continued working with the other people that were auditioning. "So...how’s everything? Any males that I need to know about?"

She laughed when she saw me wiggling my eyebrows for the whole effect.

"Well...there’s this guy named Ed..."

"Aaaaawww...My Gilli’s got a crush!" I teased her with a knowing smile with Meg laughing along with me.

"Yeah, well...you’re all dating my bro’s so...yeah..." she said with a laugh. "Listen, I’ve got to get warmed up and junk, but I’ll talk to you afterwards."

She gave us both hugs before she skipped off towards the back of the room to join in on what the rest of the group was working on. The rest of the audition went on without any problems and before we knew it, it was time to go home.

© Liz Holder 2000