~~~~~~~~~~» The Next Morning «~~~~~~~~~~

I had a feeling that someone was watching me as I slowly woke up. I rolled over onto my back and opened my eyes.

"Aaaaahhhh!" I screamed as I jumped, surprised to find AJ sitting on the other side of the bed. "Geez...you scared me!"

"Sorry," he replied quietly as he watched me pull the blankets and sheets up to my chin, wanting to stay in bed for as long as I possibly could.

I let out a small sigh as I rolled back over and closed my eyes, listening to the noises of the day. I was surprised that I didn’t hear Madi making noise since she loved to bang on the sides of her playpen, or whatever she could get her hands on.

"Where’s Madi?" I asked after a few minutes.

"I think Manda’s got her," AJ replied, followed by a few seconds of silence.

"So how long did it take you to get out of that room last night?" I asked with a knowing smile as I pushed the blankets back while I rolled back over and sat up.

I laughed when he pouted a little.

"An hour and a half," he replied softly as he lifted his hand and pointed at me. "And it wasn’t funny!"

"Actually, it was very funny!"

"Was not!"

"Ok, whatever you say," I said with a laugh as I climbed off the bed and walked towards the chair where my bag was sitting.

When the room grew quiet again, I debated on what to say as I dug through my bag to gather the clothes that I was going to change into.

"AJ," I said slowly as I turned around, holding my clean clothes and a pair of socks in my hand. "I came here to New York to..."

"Look who I found!!! There’s mommy!" Manda said as she walked in the door carrying Madi, both of them wearing happy smiles. "And there’s the funny-looking tattooed man!"

I laughed at her description of AJ as Madi held out her arms to me, signaling that she wanted me to hold her.

"Today must be ‘Love AJ’ day...I’m just feelin’ the love," AJ said sarcastically with a hint of annoyance before he walked out the door and out of sight.

"Whatever AJ," Manda called after him. "You know we love you to pieces."

I tossed my clothes onto the bed and pulled Madi into my arms, relieving Manda of her.

"Manda, I wanted to tell you that I’m sorry for never really going out of my way to be nice to you," I said while Madi played with my hair, pulling it in my face every few seconds with a laugh.

"It’s ok," she replied with a smile as if she understood. "I was the same way, so I know what you mean. I’m glad that we talked yesterday and I’m really excited that we can be friends."

I gave her a smile in return when she smiled at me.

"The girls and I are going to go shopping in a little while if you’d like to come with us," she said after a few seconds.

I set Madi on the bed along with a few of her toys to keep her somewhat preoccupied.

"Actually, I was going to take Madi into the city and have lunch in the park," I replied as I watched Madi play.

"That’s cool," Manda said happily. "Well, I’ll talk to you later then."

"Ok," I said with a smile as I looked up at her.

"And if I don’t see you before you leave, call me!" she added as she walked to the door and turned back. "You have the number."

"I will!" I called to her as she walked out the door and down the hall.

While we were shopping last night, we stopped at a coffee stand and treated ourselves to a nice treat of hot chocolate (even though it wasn’t too cold out) as we sat on a bench. We talked for a while and she gave me her card that had all her numbers and addresses on it. I gave her my e-mail address, but didn’t give her my cell phone number for some reason. ‘I feel bad for always being rude to her before, now that I know she’s a sweetie’ I thought to myself as I watched Madi playing happily with a soft book that had pullouts to play with. I was brought out of my thoughts when there was a knock at the door.

"Come in," I called out as I grabbed my clothes from the bed and headed to the bathroom without even looking to see who it was. "I’ll be right back."

I quickly changed clothes in the bathroom. I pulled my hair up onto my head in a ponytail as I walked back into the main room. When I looked up, I saw that AJ had come in and shut the door behind him, except now he was wearing a black zoot-zuit style leather jacket (AN – sort of like Johnny’s green suit jacket that he wears, but a little longer, and made of black leather...yummy!) with no shirt underneath that matched his black leather pants, when before he was wearing jeans and a T-shirt. He stood a few feet inside the door with his hands crossed loosely across his chest as he watched Madi play on the bed with an amused smile on his face.

"Oh, hi AJ," I said with a smile as I put a scrunchy around my hair to keep it in place, barely noticing that he had changed clothes since I’d seen him last.

I quickly walked back into the bathroom to retrieve the clothes that I’d slept in so I could put them in my bag.

"AJ’s not here," he replied in a thick, almost egotistical English accent with an emotionless tone and a straight face to match.

As I walked back in the room, I looked up and gave him a suspicious look as I walked over to the chair where my bag was.

"Oh...I’m so sorry Mr. Johnny...sir," I replied sarcastically with a teasing smile as I played along. "I thought you were AJ."

I shoved my clothes into my bag, and when I turned around, I found him now standing a few feet behind me.

"Aren’t you supposed to be in prison or something like that?" I asked with an innocent face. "Wait, let me guess...your parole officer’s waiting outside the door?"

I walked over towards the bed where Madi was and he followed. When he didn’t answer, I laughed. I didn’t mean to, but I just couldn’t help it. It really was silly that he was taking this whole ‘Johnny No-Name’ thing to a real-life level, not just on stage, but I played along nonetheless just to humor him.

"Are you laughing at Johnny?" he asked, letting the English accent roll of his tongue as if it was his real dialect.

"Mmm...no," I replied innocently with a smile, half-leaning against the wall at the head of the bed since the small bedside table was on the other side.

He moved closer still, causing my smile to fade slowly. I slowly backed away until my back was up against the wall, not knowing what he would do next. I let out a little nervous laugh as he got closer and closer.

"No one makes fun of Johnny," he said in a low rumbling voice that made it seem raspier than usual. "Not choirboy, not blondie, and certainly not rebel-boy."

‘Ok...this is getting a little too weird’ I thought as he walked closer, his face not showing any emotion at all. I quickly glanced over his shoulder to look at the clock that was on the other side of the room. By the time I looked back at him, he was only about six inches away. To put it bluntly, I was just a *little* uncomfortable with him towering over me while I was backed up to a wall. He was only inches taller than I was, but it sure felt like he was taller than that. I didn’t like how things were going so I tried to move away from him.

"And just where do you think you’re going?" he asked obnoxiously as he put his hand on the wall beside me, blocking my way.

"Umm...I was just going to," I said slowly, trying to think of some stupid. "Call security..."

"Tisk tisk...and why would you do that?" he asked with raised eyebrows.

When he lifted his other hand from his side, I quickly turned my head away, closing my eyes as I did. I was surprised when I felt his hand on my cheek, softly caressing my skin. When he pulled his hand away, I slowly opened my eyes and lifted my head to look into his eyes. I stared at him and he stared at me in return, the only sound in the room being Madi playing with her toys and our breathing. I swear I could feel my hands shaking, along with the rest of my body as my heart started beating faster, more out of fear than anything. I tried to find some sort of emotion in his eyes, but couldn’t. The room went suddenly silent, including Madi, which was rare.

"Boo!" he exclaimed quietly, as he touched my stomach like someone does when they come up from behind and scare you.

I jumped what seemed like a mile, causing me to hit my head on the wall that I was standing up against.

"Ow! Sh*t!" I yelped as I reached up to rub the spot that I bumped. "You *ss!"

"I take that as a compliment," he replied with a devilish grin and a laugh, still using his well-rehearsed English accent.

"You would take that as a compliment," I replied with a pout before I reached out and smacked him as hard as I could on the arm. "That hurt!"

"Oh come off it," he said as he rolled his eyes. "You didn’t hit it that hard."

"Let me ask you this...would you like to have children someday?"

He took a few seconds to think about the question.

"Is that a trick question?" he asked, suspecting something.

"No, so if you would like to have kids someday, I suggest you stop doing things like that," I said with a smile. "Otherwise I’ll have to take it upon myself to make sure that you don’t have any posterity with your DNA."

He looked at me in shock as if he couldn’t believe what I’d just said.

"And you know what I mean," I said with a slight glare.

I laughed when I saw the shocked look he was giving me.

"That’s not funny!" he said, pouting again. "You shouldn’t joke about things like that."

"Who says that I was joking?"

He just stood there and stared at me. I stood there and stared right back, wondering what he’d do next.

"You know you wouldn’t do anything like that," he said confidently in a low voice as he leaned forward a few inches, placing his hands on my sides. "Besides, I don’t think AJ would appreciate that."

He laughed a little when I looked up to the ceiling for a second in thought.

"Probably not," I replied matter-of-factly.

I laughed when he wiggled his fingers a little, tickling my sides.

"Stop!" I yelped.

He continued tickling me as I squirmed under his torturing fingers. He closed the gap between us, gently pinning me up against the wall with my hands on his chest, trying to push him away as he tickled me. When he finally stopped, I was out of breath, and noticed where my hands were and how close we were standing. I tried to pull back, but since we were standing so close, I really couldn’t. I looked up into his eyes and was about to say something when he quickly leaned his head forward and rested his lips on mine, hushing me even before I could speak. He kissed me gently as he leaned his body against mine. His hands sat on my sides, just at the top of my jean shorts where my shirt barely covered, causing it to give way to his touch in a few places. His fingers were warm as they caressed my bare skin where my shirt had given way to his gentle touch. Naturally, my hands slid up his chest until they rested around his neck, gently massaging his neck with my fingers as they ran through his dark, naturally curly hair. My head was spinning with thoughts of what would happen. I knew that I wasn’t ready to commit to anything yet, also knowing that I still had to tell him everything, so I reluctantly held back. But you think that would stop him? Not a chance. He pulled away for a second before he began kissing my cheek, down to my jawline, and back up to my lips. We kissed for a few more long seconds before he pulled completely away, almost as quickly as he had come. I kept my eyes closed until I knew he was gone, hearing the door shut softly with a click. When I finally did open my eyes, I straightened my now slightly wrinkled shirt and then subconsciously wrapped my arms around myself. Madi just lay there on the bed staring up at me with her beautiful brown eyes that reminded me so much of a love that I’d lost so long ago. I turned and walked the length of the room before turning back to pace back and forth for no real reason. I must have done that for a good five or ten minutes because I jumped when someone knocked on the closed door.

"Come in," I called out, facing the dresser that I was standing in front of instead of the door.

The door opened, and when Madi saw who it was, she began gurgling and laughing happily. I turned around and saw AJ sitting on the bed with Madi, tickling her and playing with her. He now wore a pair of loose-fitting jeans (not baggy, just loose), and a black long-sleeved sweater.

"Hi," he said cheerfully as he looked up with a grin.

"Umm...hi," I replied hesitantly.

I watched him turn his attention back to Madi as he played with her, holding one of her toys up in the air, teasing her, before he brought it back down and gave it to her. She laughed and cooed happily. I walked over to the edge of the bed on my side, which was opposite of where AJ was sitting, and sat down on the edge. Madi was towards the middle of the bed.

"Johnny told me that he thinks you’re hotter than h*ll," he said suddenly with a grin.

I looked up at him with raised eyebrows.

"He said that you’re feisty," he added. "He loves that."

"Really..." I said in an amused tone. "And what else did Johnny tell you?"

His eyes sparkled happily as he grinned suspiciously.

"He told me to ask you if you’d be his woman," he said, followed by a laugh.

I looked up into his eyes, trying to find some sort of revealing emotion in them, but found nothing. ‘D*mn he’s good’ I thought to myself, referring to his acting skills and his ability to cover up things. I smiled. Two can play this game.

"You can let Johnny know that I’ll be his girlfriend when he’s granted parole," I said with a knowing smile. "Even though the leather was far more than appealing, and his English accent is just too d*mn sexy, I don’t need another bad boy to worry about...one’s enough."

"Johnny won’t take no for an answer," he replied, somewhat amused.

"Well it’s just too bad that he’s in jail for the rest of his life isn’t it?" I asked matter-of-factly before I stood up and gathered the rest of my things into my bag.

He didn’t know how to top that, so he stayed silent as I went into the bathroom to collect the last of my things. When I finished, I set my bag on the bed, standing next to the bed while I watched him hold Madi in his lap, letting her play with his cross chain that he wore more often than not.

"Listen...I was going to take Madi into the city to have lunch," I said, causing him to look up me, waiting for me to finish. "Would you like to join us?"

"I’d like that," he replied, looking down at Madi with a smile that made her laugh.

~~~~~~~~~~» A Few Hours Later «~~~~~~~~~~

"So, um...how’s the tour?"

I watched Madi happily chasing a butterfly as best as she could from where we were, sitting on a blanket that we had spread out on the ground in a small, quiet park in a somewhat-peaceful suburban neighborhood. Izzie and Marcus (AJ’s guard) watched over Madi from a few feet away, so I knew she’d be ok.

"It’s good," I replied with a small smile. "I miss all of you guys being around, but I’m slowly getting used to it...and the opening acts are incredible."

"That’s good," he replied, nodding slightly as he looked at the empty plates and containers spread out on the blanket between us.

He didn’t act as if he meant it, though I knew he was just as tired of being lonely as I was. I too looked down at the light pink checkered blanket and momentarily let my mind wander while I gathered the empty plastic containers and set them in a sack to be taken to the trash. I looked up at him after a few minutes at the same time as when he looked up at me.

"I came here, to New York, to tell you that I’m very sorry for how I hurt you," I said softly before I looked back down at the freshly cut grass around us. "I just wanted you to know that before you left."

He was silent, so I looked back up and saw the tears in his eyes, making me hurt even more for being so horrible to him.

"Thank you," he whispered before he looked down for a second.

Again, the air around us filled with silence although we could hear children laughing, birds chirping, and ducks wading in the small pond on the other side of the park.

"Miss Liz," Izzie called out to me softly as he walked towards where we were sitting with Madi in his hands.

He looked like a giant compared to my little girl, though their size difference was somewhat touching.

"Yes?" I asked.

I looked up at AJ for a split-second before I looked up to Izzie. He stood next to me, shading me from the fast moving sun that was starting to shift, making the shade from a nearby tree shift with it.

"Miss, it’s time to go," he said, carefully setting Madi down in my arms.

"Thank you Izzie. We’ll be there in a minute," I told him.

I watched him as he walked over to Marcus, and then watched both of them continue to walk over to the Suburban that was supplied by the hotel.

"We have to go now," I said quietly as I set Madi down so I could gather up the bag and blanket.

AJ helped me fold the blanket and when he saw that I had my hands full, he took hold of Madi’s hands and helped her walk back to the truck.

"Thanks for a wonderful time," he whispered to me as we walked alongside each other.

"Thank you for coming with us," I replied with a smile.

"Are you coming to our tour party tonight?" he asked suddenly.

"I can’t," I replied, looking away as my smile faded.

"Why not?" he asked.

It was as if I could hear his heart breaking in two when he spoke. I hated to be the one doing that to him. It just made it that much harder.

"I’m leaving AJ," I said as we got closer to the truck. "I have a show tonight in Texas."

I wanted to cry when he looked up at me with sad eyes before he opened the door to the truck and lifted Madi up to hand her to Izzie. He climbed in and scooted over, leaving the seat next to the window for me. We were soon off towards the airport. I lightly set my hand on AJ’s knee. He looked up at me with the same sad eyes as before, lightly resting his hand on top of mine. Shortly after, we pulled into the airport through the back way, where a small private jet was waiting.

"I want to come with you," he said suddenly in a quiet voice.

"I can’t let you do that AJ," I replied as Izzie opened the door and helped me out. "You have to get ready to go to Europe."

He scooted over on the seat and leaned over to give me a hug.

"I love you," he whispered softly in my ear before he gave me a kiss on the cheek.

I didn’t have a chance to say anything in return before Izzie called for me. The plane was ready to take off and we had to get going so I wouldn’t be late for sound check and warm-ups. I watched as AJ shut the door of the Suburban and watched out the window. I didn’t turn around until we got to the plane, where I sadly waved goodbye. I hated to leave him like this, with so many things up in the air, but because of my job, I had to.

© Liz Holder 2001