~~~~~~~~~~» AJ «~~~~~~~~~~

"Great show guys," one of the roadies said as Nick and I walked by, trying to find the room where Liz’s parents were waiting for us while we showered and freshened up a bit.

"Thanks," I called back while we continued walking.

As we got closer, I could hear laughter coming from one of the rooms. We walked in the semi-open door and found Bri and Kevin tickling someone on the couch, though we couldn’t tell who it was because arms and legs were flailing around recklessly.

"How come you didn’t come say hi before the show?" Kev asked in an evil voice as he continued tickling the person, whom we could now tell was a girl.

"I DID!!!!"

Kev and Bri let up a little.

"You just weren’t here," the girl added.

"True...she did come to say hi," another girl’s voice said.

I moved a few steps forward and turned to see Court standing next to her parents, hidden by the door that we’d just come in.

"Hey you!" I said happily as I engulfed her in a big bear hug. "So you are the ‘company from out of town’?"

I let her go and took hold of her hand, gently leading her to the other unoccupied couch. She smiled at me and melodramatically jumped onto the couch, causing her parents to reprimand her slightly. Instead of sitting beside her on the couch, I stood in front of her with my arms comfortably crossed across my chest. I turned my head a little and watched as her parents began talking with the other guys after they’d let Tina take a breather from their tickle session on the other side of the room.

"Yep!" she replied happily with a toothy grin. "Great show by the way."

"Thanks."

When she just stared at me for a second, a weird feeling came to me all of a sudden, almost like ‘stomach butterflies’. It was only for a few seconds, but it was somewhat comforting, which made no sense in my mind.

"So how has the tour been?" she asked with a smile to break the silence.

"Good...the shows are great, and the fans are ballistic," I replied with a funny face.

"Yeah. I know how that is," she replied with a laugh. "I don’t ever think I’ll get used to people always giving me things to give to Liz...or asking for autographs. It’s just weird!"

"Speaking of Liz, how is she doing?"

She leaned back into the couch a little as she thought about how to answer. The room became a little noisy, so I moved closer to the couch so I could hear what she had to say.

"She’s doing pretty good," she replied with a half-shrug. "Rehearsals start soon, so she’ll be busy...guess that’s a good thing."

I watched her as she reached out and fidgeted with the edge of her shirt, doing the exact same thing that I do when I’m nervous or bored. The room suddenly became quieter as I spoke again.

"You should have brought her with you...how come she didn’t come?" I asked. "Is everything ok?"

I watched her steal a quick glance behind me, and when she didn’t answer, I slowly turned to see what she was looking at, not really knowing what I’d face once I did. I’m sure my mouth dropped to the floor as I stood there and stared like an idiot, in total disbelief. Kev’s back was to me as the guys stood in a circle, but I could tell he was hugging someone when I saw hands wrap around his back.

~~~~~~~~~~» Liz «~~~~~~~~~~

Izzie and I had stayed in the arena until it was pretty much empty, which was about twenty-five minutes. Court went to go find our parents while we sat and watched the people slowly make their way into the crowded halls, sad that the excitement was over so quickly. People kept coming up and asking me if I was Ellz H, so I ended up signing autographs for a few minutes before finally making my way backstage where I was to meet Arti and Meg. Izzie was going to go get the car ready, since the drive back to the house was a good hour and a half (though it’s only 35 miles...rofl) and it was already pretty late. I saw Meg and Arti walk into the room while I walked towards them down the hallway. When I walked into the room, it was kind of quiet, so I could hear when AJ asked about me. The second I walked in, the guys all quickly got over the shock of seeing me there before they gave me hugs. When Kev wouldn’t let me go I laughed a little against his chest before I pulled my hands back and tickled his sides. He instantly pulled back out of reflex, letting me free of his grasp.

"I did come with them...actually, it’s more like they came with me," I said, answering AJ’s questions. "And yes, I’m fine."

Kev moved out of the way, allowing me to see AJ. I just stood there in my spot and waited for his reaction. He stayed where he was standing for a minute with a shocked look in his face before he slowly moved closer, until he was about a foot away. I kept my eyes on the ground as he stared at me in silence. I flinched a little in surprise when he jumped and wrapped his long arms around me in a hug. I just set my hands on his sides as he rubbed my back a little, not letting go.

"I’ve missed you," he whispered almost desperately, burying his head in my thick shoulder length hair so no one else could hear but me.

When I didn’t say anything in return, he slowly let his arms fall to his sides as he pulled away and watched me as I sadly looked at the ground. He gently cupped my chin with one hand and lifted my head so I was looking in his eyes. I could only look into his chocolate eyes for a few seconds before looking down again, fighting to keep tears from falling.

~~~~~~~~~~» AJ «~~~~~~~~~~

My heart dropped when I noticed that Liz was blinking back tears. She seemed so distant and unfeeling that she didn’t even seem like the same person anymore. I just wanted to hold her and tell her to cry until she couldn’t cry anymore, but now was not the place or the time.

"Hey...we’re gonna go to a club for some dancing," Nick said, bringing us out of our little ‘moment’. "Wanna come?"

"I...I can’t." Liz kept her head down a little as she spoke. "I need to get back, but you all go and have a fun time ok?"

I watched sadly as she started to back-up towards the door before turning around to leave. She didn’t even stop when her parents called out to her. ‘No...you can’t leave’ my mind was screaming as I watched her walk out of the room.

"I’m going with her," I said, quickly grabbing my jacket from the couch where Court was sitting before heading for the door.

"I’ll go too," Bri added. "We’ll see you guys tomorrow."

Bri followed me down the hall to the door outside, knowing that we’d have our heads if management knew we were leaving with no guards. I don’t think we’ll have a problem anyway since most of the fans have left the arena in search of the hotel, thinking that that’s where we were. I rushed out the door, startling the two building security guards as we ran past, trying to catch Liz before she left. We got out to the sidewalk just in time to see Izzie open the front passenger side door to get in the front with the driver. He saw us and sort of nodded his head a little, signaling us to quickly get in before Liz figured out what was going on and before the driver left.

"Go go go!" I whispered loudly, anxiously waiting for Bri to get the door open before I lightly shoved him in and then dove in myself.

Liz didn’t have time to react until after the door was shut and the driver had already started to pull out. She just sort of sat there and looked at us for a few minutes before she turned her head and watched the ever-changing scenery out the window with an emotionless stare. It took us almost twenty-five minutes to get out of Denver as we headed north on the freeway towards the small town where Liz had once lived years ago and where her parents still did.

"I had to get back because Madi’s got a sitter," Liz said, breaking the silence when we were about ten miles outside of the suburbs of Denver, going north. "Dad and mom insisted."

She kept her head facing the window, though I could see in the darkness of the car that her eyes were shut. The seat she was sitting on and the front seat were back to back, so she was facing us, though she wasn’t looking at us. I watched her as she opened her eyes and placed her hands in her lap, staring at them silently. Finally, after another ten minutes, Bri attempted to break the weird silence that filled the back of the car.

"I saw part of your new video the other day," he said, his voice audibly revealing that he was unsure if he’d get a reaction or not. "I liked it...it was very visually satisfying."

Liz looked up at him and gave him a small smile. I smiled when she looked over at me for a split-second before she looked at her hands once again.

"Thanks," she replied. "I think it turned out well."

She looked up again and smiled, but this time it was a full, happy smile. I watched as she reached up and tucked her hair behind her ear with her right hand. As she did that, I saw a small glimmer of light on her neck as we went under a streetlight. My heart started beating a little faster, immediately knowing what it was, though I’d only seen the light reflecting off the chain. Just knowing that she wore it gave me a small amount of hope about the two of us. At least she cared that much. I knew she did.

"So when do you start the tour?" Bri asked.

Liz looked at her hands as she began to speak.

"The first show is on December third, but rehearsals start in about a week," she replied, looking up at us when she was halfway through. "It’s going to be a long and stressful tour, but I know it’ll be worth it."

She looked back out the window, but continued talking.

"The production team has been working on creating a stage that covers all areas of the floor, which will be interesting," she added. "And the effects and everything are going to be elaborate, almost overdone, but it’s on request from management and Rainbow. I’m not sure if I like that fact or not, but they insisted, so that’s how it’ll be."

"Sounds like you’ll have your hands full," I said.

"Yeah," she replied, looking back out the window as we finally pulled off the freeway on the right exit.

Nothing more was said until we pulled up in front of her parent’s house. There was a car parked in front along the sidewalk, so I assumed it was the babysitter’s car. The car pulled behind Liz’s parent’s Suburban and car along the sidewalk before Izzie hopped out. I got out and was followed by Bri. I waited next to the door to help Liz out of the car while Izzie and Bri went to the front door. I smiled when she set her hand in mine as she stepped out of the car, but my smile faded when she pulled her hand away once she was on the sidewalk and realized that I wasn’t Izzie. I followed her up to the front door, watching her every move as she walked up the steps and slowly opened the front door.

"Look who I found," Bri said in a cute voice the second she had the front door open.

He walked up to us holding Madi as we walked in the door. Liz played with Madi as Bri watched the two of them while I shut the door. I looked up when Izzie walked in the room, followed by a guy that I figured was the babysitter. He was about six feet tall, with light brown hair cut short, but not too short, with short, neatly shaved sideburns. When Izzie moved out of the way, his greenish eyes lit up and a grin appeared on his face when he saw Liz standing next to Bri while she played with her daughter.

"Liz?" he asked.

Liz looked up with squinted eyes to see who had called for her, since she knew by the voice that it wasn’t Bri or Izzie. She just stared at him for a few seconds before she gave him a big smile.

"Adam?!" she asked excitedly in return as she reached out and gave him a huge hug with a laugh. "Hey!!!"

"Hey to you too!" he replied happily, hanging on a little longer as I just stood there and watched their exchange of affection. "You look good!"

"Yeah...I look just a little different than the last time you saw me huh?" she asked playfully as she finally let go of him, but stood facing him so her back was to me. "Geez, it’s been too long!"

I watched hopelessly as she took hold of his arm and led him down the short hallway into the other room with Izzie following shortly behind. Bri just cracked a silly smile as he walked by with Madi, following the direction that everyone else had gone. I wanted to reach out and smack him, but he didn’t really do anything to deserve it, so I resisted. By the time I got into the room, everyone was nice and comfortable on the couches and chairs in the family room, talking and catching up on old times.

"Oh...guys, this is Adam. He’s an old friend of mine from high school," Liz said with an enthusiastic smile. "Adam, that’s Izzie, my bodyguard, and my friends Brian and AJ."

"Hi," Adam said with a smile before he reached out to shake our hands. "And this little cutie is yours?"

When he reached out and let Madi play with his long fingers, Madi laughed happily as she tried to pull the ring off one of his fingers.

"Yep, she’s mine," Liz replied with a smile. "The adoption will be finalized soon, which will be really helpful."

"Adoption?" he asked. "I thought...uh...never mind."

Liz just laughed a little before she spoke. "She’s mine, but not biologically...and no, she’s not AJ’s."

Adam nodded a little as he looked up at me and then slowly looked back to Liz.

"I know that there are rumors going around about her, but most of them aren’t true...the only person in the media that knows the truth is the one person that I asked to not talk about it, and thankfully, she hasn’t," Liz continued.

"Who’s is she?" he asked while playing with her tiny hands as she sat in Brian’s lap.

"She’s the daughter of one of my close friends from the radio station I worked at in Salt Lake. Her name was Rachel and she passed away a little over a month ago from complications of cancer," she explained, though I knew she didn’t want to talk about it by the tone of her voice. "Her fiancé left her when she told him she was pregnant, and her parents died in a car accident a few years back, so she wanted me to raise her daughter. I couldn’t say no."

He nodded sympathetically as he continued playing with Madi’s hands. He pulled one of them free from Madi’s little hands and placed it on Liz’s knee.

"If you ever need anything, you can call me ya know," he said quietly.

"I know," Liz replied with a small smile. "So how did my parents rope you into babysitting?"

"I saw your mom at the store. We started talking and she said that she needed a babysitter for a few hours, so I volunteered, since my hot date canceled at the last minute," he said with a laugh.

Liz nodded with a smile. "Hot date huh? I haven’t had one of those in who knows how long."

The room suddenly grew quiet for a few long seconds.

"Well, I’m going to go change into something more comfortable, so if you want to stay and talk or whatever, you’re more than welcome," Liz said to break the silence. "It was good seeing you again. I’ll have to call you and have you come visit while I’m on tour...you’d like that."

"Yeah. That’d be great!" he replied happily.

‘Yeah...I’m sure he’d like to do more than that’ I thought angrily to myself as I watched her smile at Adam as she stood up. She leaned over and gave him a hug before she left to go upstairs.

"So you guys are on tour right now right?" Adam asked after Liz was gone.

"Yeah," I replied dryly, looking at him briefly before I turned my attention back down the hallway toward the stairs, hoping that Liz would come back.

I only half-listened to the conversation that continued between Izzie, Adam, and Bri as I got lost in my thoughts. When Bri handed Madi to me, I played with her while she sat in my lap as the others talked. After a few more minutes, Izzie decided that he’d go back to the small bed and breakfast that he was staying in, so he left, leaving Bri, Adam, and I. When Bri excused himself to go use the bathroom, the conversation dwindled a little, but we talked about things from touring to kids to school.

© Liz Holder 2001