~~~~~~~~~~» Liz «~~~~~~~~~~

"Please excuse me," I said as I sat my napkin on the table and got up from my seat.

The phone was ringing in the other room as I walked around the massive table that everyone was sitting around, eating dinner and making light conversation. The phone was sitting on the counter in the kitchen.

"Hello?"

"Hi Liz. How’s it going?"

"Everything’s fine, but I’m kind of busy right now."

It was my oldest sister calling me, which was a VERY rare occurrence.

"Ok...I’ll make this brief then."

There was a slight pause.

"Do you think we could borrow some money? We’ve got more bills than we can pay...the kids need some clothes...things like that..."

"Kids NEED clothes, or do you just WANT to get them some new designer jeans and $100-plus boots?"

"Well, umm..."

"Just what I thought...and since when should I give you money? You still owe me if I’m not mistaken," I replied, feeling the anger flowing through my veins.

"I know that...but..."

I didn’t give her the liberty to finish.

"I work very hard for my paycheck...if you need money, GET A JOB," I said angrily before I hung the phone up and left the room.

I put a fake smile on and went back to my seat beside AJ.

"Who was that?" he whispered softly once I was sitting down.

"My conniving sister," I replied angrily, but still with the smile on my face because I could see that a few people were looking at us.

"What did she want?"

I leaned over a little closer to him so I could hear what he said.

"Money...as always."

"Wait. Which sister are you talking about?" he asked, kind of confused.

"The one who only calls me when she wants something," I said before I sat up and continued to eat the food that was on my plate.

Everyone else was having seconds, and in Kevin, Dalone, and Trent’s cases, thirds, while I was still on my first plate. I sat there and ran my fork through the pile of half-eaten mashed potatoes that was on my plate, listening to little bits of each conversation that was going on. It was a little while longer until everyone was done eating. While everyone continued chatting about different things, I stood up and began collecting the dirtied dishes to be carried to the kitchen. I had a pile of plates in my hand when AJ came up behind me and whispered in my ear, startling me a little.

"I don’t think so hun...I’m going to do that while you take your guests into the other room."

He gently took the china plates from my hands while I just stood there, dumbfounded, and let him. Before I could protest, he was already on his way to the kitchen, with a few of the guys in tow. By the time we were all up from the table, all of the guys were in the kitchen doing who knows what while the girls went into the other room to talk. Some of the girls sat on the floor around the couch while the rest of us piled onto the couch and rearranged our positions until we were comfortable. We were lounging all over the place, but who cared...not me, and certainly not any of them.

"So how did you and Howie meet?" Kyleigh asked Meg with a smile.

"Well, I actually met him at a recording studio here in Orlando almost a year ago. He was working with Mandy Moore on a song and it just happened that they were at the same studio as Liz and I," she replied, happy to recall that day. "I met him during one of our breaks from recording, and things went from there."

She gave me a smile and I couldn’t help but to laugh a little, remembering the first time I saw them together...making out. She must have known what I was thinking about, because she gave me a smirk that said not to say a word about it.

"How did you and Kevin meet, Arti?" Lyndsey asked.

"Well, I won tickets to see the MTV Awards last year, and when I was checking into the hotel, I ran into Liz! We’d known each other for a few years, but never met in real life. She let me hang out with her and her friends, including Meg, and after a little bit, I was introduced to the guys," she replied.

She didn’t tell the whole story, knowing that they didn’t need to know all the weird details of that week way back when.

"That’s so cute!" Chrystal said.

"Yeah...he’s such a sweetie," Arti gushed with a grin. "He’s so sentimental and sensitive, it’s just sweet!"

The whole group of girls all ‘awed’ at how cute it was and I just giggled a little, knowing that he’d be totally embarrassed if he knew we were talking about him.

"You two look very happy together," Julie said.

"Thank you...we are very happy together," Arti replied with a smile.

~~~~~~~~~~» Kev «~~~~~~~~~~

"I’ll be right back guys," I said before I walked out of the kitchen.

We were almost done cleaning up the stuff from dinner, and even though I should’ve stayed in and finished helping, I was curious to see what the girls were talking about. I stopped in the hallway close to the doorway into the living room and listened to the conversation.

"Thank you...we are very happy together," I heard Arti say.

I smiled. Of course we were happy together! She always made me happy, and knew how to make me feel special. I was brought out of my thoughts when one of the other girls started talking again.

"So...Ells...you and AJ seem pretty cozy."

A chorus of agreement followed.

"Oh no...we’re not like THAT, but I do love him very much. I could easily see myself with him in ten years, happily married with 3 kids, a couple of dogs, and a cute little house," Liz replied cheerfully.

I could almost see the smile on her face by the tone of her voice. Everyone knew that those two would always be madly in love for a long, long time, but I’d never heard either of them talk about marriage before. I turned to go back to the kitchen just as she started to speak again.

"We’ve been through so much together, both good and bad. If he were to ever ask me to be his wife, I don’t think I could say no to him..."

I smiled to myself while I walked into the kitchen.

"Yo Train...why’re you smiling like a fool?" Bri asked when he looked up from putting plates in one of the cupboards and saw my face.

"Dude AJ...I’ve got some news for you..."

All four of the guys looked up at me with curious eyes, as if telling me to spill my secrets.

~~~~~~~~~~» Meg «~~~~~~~~~~

"So have you told them yet?" C hrys asked after the conversation died down a little.

"Told who what?" I asked.

"Told the guys that I’m going back on tour," Liz replied.

My mouth dropped open and I’m sure she saw it.

"I’m leaving in three weeks and I’ll be gone for three to five months," she added.

"Have you told them?" Arti asked.

"No."

"Well, are you going to?" I asked.

I watched Liz as she moved into a more comfortable sitting position and smiled at a few of the other girls.

"Eventually I will," she replied. "I’m just afraid that if I tell them, they’ll try and call the tour off, and I WON’T let that happen."

I knew that she meant what she said, and I also knew that if she did tell the guys, they would make sure that she didn’t go.

"I know that I’ve only been out of the hospital for like, what, three...four weeks?" she said, looking to the other girls for confirmation. "But I know that I’m ready and I know that if I don’t go now, my career will suffer."

"Who are you going on tour with?" Arti asked.

"For the first month or so, I’ll be opening for *Nsync, which I’m sooo NOT looking forward to...then I’ll be opening for Christina Aguilera, and then Faith Hill on her cross-over tour," Liz replied happily. "I’ve got a good crew working with me, so I know I’ll be ok," she said with a smile to all the girls.

"Yeah! We’ll take good care of her," Julie added, followed by agreement from the rest of Liz’s crew.

"And I’ll have to make sure that my two bestest buds get to come out for a few shows to visit," Liz hinted to Arti and I with a smile.

"Of course!" Arti replied with a smile in return.

~~~~~~~~~~» A Few Hours Later «~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~» Howie «~~~~~~~~~~

"I think we’re going to head out," I said as Meg and I got our coats and headed towards the front door.

"We’re gonna go too," Arti said, smiling at Kev.

Liz stood up and showed us to the door.

"Thanks for having this little party. We had a blast getting to know your new crew," Meg said happily.

We all walked out onto the porch and down the few steps towards the cars.

"You’re welcome," Liz replied with a small smile and a wave while we got into our cars.

She stood on the porch and watched us as we got ready to pull out of the driveway.

"Something’s not right," I told Meg as we were waiting for Kev and Arti to pull out behind us.

I looked over at Meg and saw the questioning look she was giving me. I pointed to Liz and watched Meg turn her eyes to see what I was talking about. I turned my head in time to see Liz let out a small sigh before she turned around and headed for the front door. She looked put out and a little let down for some reason.

"I’m sure whatever is bothering her will blow over like it usually does," Meg said as she patted my hand gently and waited as I pulled the car out of the driveway. "If it doesn’t, we’ll hear about it soon enough."

"You’re right," I replied.

She smiled.

~~~~~~~~~~» Kev «~~~~~~~~~~

"Was it just me or was something a little off tonight?"

"Something’s off alright..." Arti said quietly.

"Well I intend to find out what it is. I hope it’s nothing serious," I said as I grabbed Arti’s warm hand in mine and gave it a gentle squeeze.

She looked over at me and gave me a smile that in turn made me smile too.

"There’s something for you in the glove box...I was going to save it for later, but you can open it now if you’d like," I said while I drove us back home.

I glanced over and saw her reach out and open the latch. Her face lit up when she saw the long black velvet box.

"Kevin!" she said with a small gasp as she picked it up and rubbed the velvet box with her fingers. She opened the box and I knew that she was speechless, which was the effect I was going for. "I love it!!! It’s...beautiful!!! And it must have cost you a fortune..."

"But it’s not half as beautiful as you," I finished her sentence for her.

"That’s so sweet!" she said and then leaned over and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

She lifted the diamond necklace out of the box and fastened it around her neck with a huge smile on her face. I laughed a little when she flipped the visor down and looked at the necklace in the mirror.

"Thank you," she said as she gave me another kiss on the cheek.

"Anything for you," I replied happily.

~~~~~~~~~~» Liz «~~~~~~~~~~

"I know that you didn’t want me to have this tonight and I’m sorry," I said while I picked up a few pieces of garbage off the floor in the front room.

AJ was sitting on the couch watching me clean up what was left of the garbage left behind by everyone. I turned around and walked into the kitchen to throw the garbage in the trash can. Everyone else left pretty much after Meg and Howie decided to call it a night. Chrys left with Bri, and Lyndsey left with Nick. At least they were all in good spirits.

"Who said that I didn’t want you to have this tonight?" he asked after I’d walked into the kitchen.

"Oh come on! At least give me a little credit...I might be blond, but I’m not stupid," I replied, shoving some stuff into a cupboard.

"Don’t say stuff like that."

He got up off the couch and came into the kitchen.

"I never said you were stupid and besides, you know that I don’t think you are," he said.

I was silent for a few minutes while I put more stuff away. I opened the fridge door and put some leftovers on one of the shevles.

"You never say things like that, but the way you act makes me feel that way sometimes. Your flowers and nice words won’t always work on me," I said while shutting the door of the fridge quickly and then moving into the other room.

"What are you talking about?" he asked, following me.

"Nevermind."

"No! Tell me!"

"No!!! I said nevermind."

"What is wrong with you?" he asked, frustrated from the way the conversation was going.

"Nothing is wrong with me...am I not entitled to have a bad day every once in a while?!?" I asked loudly as I swung around to look at him in anticipation of an answer.

"Is this because of your sister that you’re acting this way?"

"My sister is one of my problems, but that’s not anything I need to share with you..."

"Why are you being such a witch?!" he asked loudly, standing by the doorway to the front room.

I was silent for a few seconds, trying to contain my anger, but not succeeding very well.

"I’m leaving for tour in three weeks. I’ll be gone for the next six months, so if you think I’m being a witch now, you won’t have to deal with me for another six months..." I said after I looked up to see what his reaction would be. "And I’ll be a super-witch when I come back."

He had no reaction. He stood there in the doorway with no expression on his face as he stared at me like I was a fool.

"I think you need to leave," I said angrily as I picked up a glass from the counter.

He just stood there.

"GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!!!!!!!" I screamed, causing him to jump. "Get out!"

He turned and walked to the front door, never looking back. Once the door was shut behind him, I threw the glass at the door, causing it to smash into a thousand little pieces of glass.

"I HATE you Alexander James McLean!!!!" I screamed at the top of my lungs as tears streamed down my cheeks. "I hate you."

I don’t know how I got back upstairs to my room, but the next thing I knew, I was packing up my things in boxes and suitcases. I didn’t even notice when Nikki came and stood in my doorway and watched me.

"Liz?"

"Huh?" I answered impulsively while I shoved some clothes into one of the suitcases on my bed.

"What are you doing?"

"I’m moving out," I replied. "First thing tomorrow morning, I’m going to go house-hunting for myself, so I suggest you do the same."

"What happened downstairs?" Nikki asked. "There’s glass everywhere."

"I threw it...I threw a glass at the door. I’m sorry."

"Forget about the glass Liz. We’ll clean it up later. You get some sleep when you’re done and we’ll go house-hunting tomorrow as soon as the sun comes up," she said sympathetically before she went to her own room for the night.

The rest of the night was a blur and before I knew it, it was morning. I hadn’t gotten any sleep the night before. Between packing things and thinking about what went wrong, I didn’t get any sleep at all. Nikki must have noticed how tired I was when I came down for breakfast, but she didn’t say anything. As I ate some cereal, the phone rang.

"Yeah...she’s right here. Let me get her for you," Nikki said into the phone.

"I’m not here," I said as I picked up my bowl of cereal and carried it up the stairs. "If it’s that important, tell them to call back in a few years when I’m feeling like talking on the phone."

"Did you hear that?" Nikki asked into the phone. "Yeah...it’s that bad. Something obviously went sour last night."

I walked into my room, but stood by the door to hear what else Nikki would say to the person on the phone.

"He did what?"

I leaned a little closer to hear.

"He punched a whole in the wall at his house? He must’ve been mad... Oh... He does? Well, yeah, I guess he’s got a pretty bad temper if he put a whole in his wall with his fist..."

I didn’t want to hear anymore. I shut the door and ate the rest of my cereal on my bed that was half covered with clothes and boxes. When I was done with my breakfast, I went back to packing my things. I was interrupted when someone knocked on my door. Nikki poked her head in to see what I was doing. When she saw that she wasn’t intruding, she opened the door further and held the phone out to me.

"For you..." she said.

"I already told you that I don’t want to talk to anyone right now," I said as I continued packing.

"Just take the phone," she said as she shoved it into my hands and then left.

"Hello..."

"Don’t sound so excited to talk to me geez," Meg said with fake disappointment.

"Sorry...I’m not really in the mood to talk to anyone right now," I replied.

"So I’ve heard."

"Well, I’ll talk to you, but I won’t talk to anyone else..."

"Aww! I feel so special!" she said happily.

"Soo...what’d you need to talk to me about?" I asked while putting my hair stuff into a box.

"I just wanted to make sure you’re alive and well," she replied. "I heard about last night so I thought I’d see how you were doing."

"Who told you about last night and what did they say?" I asked.

"Well, AJ came over this morning with a bloody hand and when I was helping Howie clean AJ’s hand up, he told us what happened," she explained. "He put his fist through the wall this morning after he realized what happened last night."

"That’s nice," I replied dryly.

"Liz..."

"What?"

"Don’t you even care?"

"Care about what? Care that he beat the crap out of his wall instead of me...or care that he made me feel like a trashy whore that doesn’t deserve ANYTHING? No, I don’t care."

"Ok...now that’s just the anger talking," she said.

"Yes, you’re right. But I still don’t care."

"Please just tell me that you won’t give up on the two of you yet.."

"I haven’t given up all hope, but I’m walking a thin line right now," I replied. "And I won’t be walking it much longer if he pushes me to the other side."

"Do you want to meet somewhere for lunch before you get caught up in rehearsals and all that jazz?" she asked.

"Sure," I answered. "You pick the place and time...I’ll be there, as long as it’s just the two of us."

"Deal."

"I gotta finish packing so I can get some other things done today."

"Ok...I’ll let you go then."

"K."

"Bye Liz."

"Bye Meg."

~~~~~~~~~~» Three Weeks Later «~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~» Kev’s House «~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~» Brian «~~~~~~~~~~

"I can’t believe that it’s March already," I said suddenly.

"I know!" Arti agreed happily. "And before we know it, it’ll be summer!"

"Yeah...and we’ll be just getting comfortable and then we’ll have to go back on tour again," Nick added.

Kevin gave Nick a look that no one else noticed but the three of us. If he didn’t know not to stay away from the whole tour topic, he knew now.

"So how’s that barbecue sounding about now?" Kev asked to change the subject.

"Sounds good," Howie said.

"Same," Nick and I chimed in.

"AJ?" Kev asked.

"Yeah whatever," AJ replied unenthusiastically.

We were all brought from the question when the doorbell rang.

"I’ll get it," Kev said, since it was his house.

Meg got up and headed towards the kitchen.

"Hey AJ...why don’t you come help me," she suggested.

He slowly got up and followed her into the kitchen. It was a few more seconds before we heard laughing and giggling coming from the direction of the front door. I put my finger up to my lips to keep everyone quiet so we could hear what was going on.

"KEVIN!!!! I’ve missed you!!"

"Come in...stay for a little bit and talk," Kev said. "Do you have time?"

"I have a few minutes before I have to go."

The voices got louder as they got closer.

"I hope you don’t mind, but you’re not the only one that’s here," Kev said as they approached the room we were in.

"No...that’s fine. I just wanted to let you know how much I’d miss ya while I’m gone."

We all watched the doorway as Kev walked in followed by Liz. When she looked up from the floor after she walked in the room and saw that we were there, she smiled and jumped for the closest person to her. Nick gave her a big hug back.

"I’ve missed you all sooooo much!!! You have noooo idea!" she said as she walked around the room and hugged the rest of us. "Three weeks sure doesn’t seem long, but when you’re not with your friends, it’s forever!"

Everyone was smiling, including Liz. We hadn’t seen her since she moved out of the label house, which was just about three weeks ago. She seemed so happy and content with things that none of us dared mention AJ even though he was just in the next room. She didn’t know that, and she didn’t need to know that.

"So how’s your new house treating you?" Kev asked.

"It’s great! I have this huge house that’s being renovated right now, but it’ll be done by the time I get back...it’s gonna be gorgeous! Some of the girls are going to live with me for a little while after tour so that I won’t be lonely, so it’s all good," Liz replied.

"So when do we get to see it?" Nick asked.

"Well...hmmm...That might be a problem because I’m going to be gone for 6 months...I’d let you see it when I get back, but it’s in Miami and I doubt you’d want to drive that far," Liz said.

"You’re living in Miami?!" I asked.

"Yeah," she replied.

"What about...." We all looked up and saw AJ walk into the doorway of the room. "...Miami?"

He looked up and when he saw Liz standing next to Kev, sadness covered his face and he turned back around and went back into the kitchen. I got up and followed him.

"Anyway...yeah...I’m living in Miami," Liz said as she took a few steps towards the door. "I think I should be going now. I don’t want to miss my ride..."

"AJ..."

He was leaning against the counter at the sink with his eyes closed. He didn’t answer me when I called his name.

"You should go talk to her AJ."

"I...I can’t," he replied.

"Yes, yes you can."

He looked up at me.

"Come on...I’ll come with you," I said as I walked towards the door with him following me.

Liz was already out the front door, but we got there before she’d gone far. I nudged AJ in the side as he stepped down the steps of the porch.

~~~~~~~~~~» AJ «~~~~~~~~~~

"Liz...don’t leave," I called out.

She slowed to a stop and turned her head slightly to look at me through her sunglasses.

"Don’t leave me," I said when I saw that she had stopped. "Not like this."

She slowly turned around so that she was facing me.

"You have no idea how much I’ve missed you. Please stay," I pleaded.

"I can’t," she replied before she started to turn back around.

"I love you."

She turned around a little. "I love you too, but I love you came too late this time AJ."

Tears welled up in my eyes while I sat down on the bottom step and held my head in my hands. When I felt a hand on my shoulder, I looked up to see her kneeling in front of me.

"Will you come back to me when your tour is over?" I asked as a few tears fell down my cheeks.

When she didn’t look me in the eye, but reached out and wiped a few of my tears away, I knew that what she would tell me wouldn’t be good. When she spoke, it was in a quiet voice while she put her hands in mine.

"I don’t think so Aje. I don’t think that would be such a good idea," she replied.

"You can’t leave me," I said.

"It won’t work."

"We can talk about it..."

"I’m not coming back."

"We can work through this."

"No, we can’t Alex. I don’t want to work through this," she said sadly before she stood up and walked away.

"But...but I need you."

She was too far away to hear those last words. I watched her get into the front passenger seat of the car and put her seatbelt on before the car drove away. I looked behind me and noticed that Bri had already gone back in the house. I closed my eyes and sat there on the steps as the sky opened up and a cold spring rain began to fall. I didn’t even notice the coldness from being wet because my heart was breaking in two.

© Liz Holder 2001